Let be back a little is that is how I m programmed  over ages and need to behave as per the script. Feels that computer running on code which it is not responsible for and has to be the way it is and accepted even if it does not like the code.If it does not acknowlege and act as per code then finds the thrash and twicked at the repairing center with enormous pain and trauma which is never healing. let me take a deep breath and thank myself for being kind and giving oppotunity to munity from with in. I know i cant break the shackle but can see what is on the otherside being on this side and waiting for thing longing to be shorten perhaps that is why we have leap year ;

some once said long time that “One cant taste the success or get its essence without being failing once in life” Now the question here is what if success is not satisfactory to the one who worked for and is for the people around or who been part of it. The delimma here is measuring ourself in the glass which we did not created the units for. All I have learnt was to measure ourself to the units that we defined than the other units around. However the creator of the units should understand that these units are not universal. A successfuly career path might  not the standard rule for every one however who would take time and effort to convince that every individual is UNIQUE and the challenge is that there are handful who understand and take time to practice the same.

Once Iwas asked “How are you doing today” to my suprise that answer was “Good” to which I heard voice with in with soar throat “Liar, I m beeding here and you disguising with counterfied smiley “. I wish there was some mechanism where the true message is passed  without using the message against the person as personal attact or for granted. There is  lot of insecurity about thoughts and action being in sink,specially when some one is full of beans and the acceptance level is at peak slowing the same phase take down hill gradually getting in to nut shell. There have been lots of thesis and book available by various authors still I m waiting for miracle where reader is transformed to the view and suggestion to what he reads,listen, watches and  understand, however then the question will be back to “Why does it happen with me?” Its is been the phase of ambiguity that we have created for ourself and the forest that we have once pondered on its roots are deep resulting in soul suffocation. The cry is so loud that could stop things for second for oneself resulting never experienced turmoil.

Every day I get up with thought “What is in today for me” and sleep with saying myself with deep breath exhaling uhh there was lot to cover and now today will be yesterday” this is a never ending cycle.When I was kid use to play a game where the entire group will chase me and I will be running with all the energy that I could gather to escape from them. During then use to enjoy hide and seek thing this use to last for roughly about 15-20 mins where I use to make them run to catch me those 15-20 mins were like moment of life where every individuals  goal is to catch me and mine otherwise.

Now when I use to get exhausted and caught by every one around with breathing their lungs out saying atlast caught this guy with smile on faces. It was a feeling where we use to enjoy the failure moments of mine and success moments of friends with blissful smile of faces. I definetly miss that kind of audiance now probably because I grew up without any fault of mine or others.

when I relate the same activity feel that now I dont have the choice of stopping because I got only one little life with lots of this to achieve and share.

So, whats wrong and where? When I look at myself or my friends I can see it everywhere. We are not happy with what we have but all are stressed and not happy for the things we don’t have. You have a Santro, but you want City… You have a City, but you want Skoda. Just after buying a new phone, we need another one. Better laptop, bigger TV, faster car, bigger house, more money… .I mean, these examples are endless. The point is, does it actually worth? Do we ever think if we actually need those things before we want them?

After this, I was forced to think what I need and what I don’t. May be I didn’t need this Handy cam or the iPod or that DVD player. When I see my father back at home. He has a simple BPL colour TV, he doesn’t need 32″ Sony LCD wall mount. He has a cell phone worth Rs 2,500. Whenever I ask him to change the phone, he always says… “Its a phone, I need this just for calls.” And believe me; he is much happier in life than me with those limited resources and simple gadgets. The very basic reason why he is happy with so little is that he doesn’t want things in life to make it luxurious, but he wants only those things which are making his life easier. It’s a very fine line between these two, but after looking my father’s life style closely, I got the point. He needs a cell phone but not the iPhone. He needs a TV but not the 32″ plasma. He needs a car but not an expensive one.

Initially I had lot of questions.

I am earning good, still I am not happy……why ?

I have all luxuries, still I am stressed…. ……. why ?

I had a great weekend, still I am feeling tired…… why?

I met lot of people, I thought over it again and again, I still don’t know if I got the answers, but certainly figured out few things. I realize that one thing which is keeping me stressed is the “stay connected” syndrome. I realized that, at home also I am logged in on messengers, checking mails, using social networks, and on the top of that, the windows mobile is not letting me disconnected. On the weekend itself, trying to avoid unwanted calls… and that is keeping my mind always full of stress. I realized that I am spending far lesser money than what I earn, even then I am always worried about money and more money. I realized that I am saving enough money I would ever need, whenever needed. Still I am stressed about job and salary and spends.

May be, many people will call this approach “not progressive attitude“, but I want my life back. Ultimately it’s a single life, a day gone is a day gone. I believe if I am not happy tonight, I’ll never be happy tomorrow morning. I finally realized that meeting friends, spending quality time with your loved one’s; spending time with yourself is the most important thing. If on Sunday you are alone and you don’t have anybody to talk with, then all that luxuries life, all that money is wasted. May be cutting down your requirements, re-calculating your future goal in the light of today’s happiness is a worthwhile thing to do. May be selling off your Santro and buying Honda City on EMIs is not a good idea. I believe putting your happiness ahead of money is the choice we need to make.

I think, a lot can be said and done but what we need the most is re-evaluation of the value of happiness and time we are giving to our life and people associate with it.

My grandparents were married for over half a century and played
their own special game from the time they had met each other.

The goal of their game was to write the word “shmily” in a
surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving
“shmily” around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered
it, it was their turn to hide it once more.

They dragged “shmily” with their fingers through the sugar and
flour containers to await whomever was preparing the next meal.

They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio
where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding with blue
food coloring.

“Shmily” was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot
shower, where it would reappear bath after bath.

At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of
toilet paper to leave “shmily” on the very last sheet.

There was no end to the places “shmily” would pop up.

Little notes with “shmily” scribbled hurriedly were found on
dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels.

The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows.

“Shmily” was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in
the ashes of the fireplace.

This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents’
house as the furniture.

It took me a long time before I was able to fully appreciate my
grandparents’ game. Skepticism has kept me from believing in
true love – one that is pure and enduring.

However, I never doubted my grandparents’ relationship.
They had love down pat.

It was more than their flirtatious little games; it was a way of
life. Their relationship was based on a devotion and passionate
affection which not everyone is lucky enough to experience.

Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could.
They stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny
kitchen. They finished each other’s sentences and shared the
daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. My grandma whispered to
me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had
grown to be.

She claimed that she really knew “how to pick ‘em.”
Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks,
marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune,
and each other.

But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents’ lives: my
grandmother had breast cancer. The disease had first appeared
ten years earlier. As always, Grandpa was with her every step
of the way.

He comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way so that
she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was
too sick to go outside.

Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a
cane and my grandfather’s steady hand, they went to church every
morning.

But my grandmother grew steadily weaker until, finally, she
could not leave the house anymore. For a while, Grandpa would
go to church alone, praying to God to watch over his wife.

Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened.
Grandma was gone.

“Shmily.” It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons
of my Grandmother’s funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and
the last mourners turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and
other family members came forward and gathered around Grandma
one last time.

Grandpa stepped up to my Grandmother’s casket, and taking a
shaky breath, he began to sing to her.

Through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty
lullaby. Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that
moment.

For I knew that although I couldn’t begin to fathom the depth
of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched
beauty.

S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You.

ButterflySo the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

Read more: http://www.funonthenet.in/forums/index.php?topic=179705.0#ixzz0wc2YxLyK

We once were chasing butterflies
And went behind grasshoppers
We hopped as they hopped
The number of dragon flies
Caught and left
We failed to count

Lying on meadows
and climbing the trees
Are long forgotten
The grasses that we played with
And the smell that we carried home
The richness of grass and scent of wild flowers
Which when as a child
Were ones that gave us joy
Fail to excite us now

The castles on sands
That we built
The fortress and playhouses
Big and small
Our own weapons – bow and arrows
Not to forget the wooden sword
The dramas enacted in the open
With no spectators
But the wide-wide sky
The green cheerleaders clapping their hands
Those trees that we loved
who gave us shadow and place to play
Both up and below
Are now gone
To be replaced by lifeless stones
That what we call home

Every stone had a story
Every mud and clay had life
Life wasn’t worth a dream then
But dreams were life
We laughed together
We cried together
And we hooted together
People indeed were around
We never bothered them
Nor did they
It was our own world
Different but close to heart

Certain things are allowed
only for those who are just above 18
It’s been ages since we crossed the landmark
Yet we are not allowed
To enjoy what we enjoyed once
Not by others but by our own egos
Just because we are adults

‘Til one by one I locked each door
And soon forgot what love was for
But I never gave up hopin’
So I left just one door open
In case you found me

So there’s a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you’ve had before
There’s a room in my heart for you

We’ll paint the walls from blue to white
And set the mood by candlelight
Together we’ll keep out the cold
And I’ll still be there when we’re old
If you’ll let me

So there’s a room in my heart for you
If your trust has been stolen too
If you walk softly on this worn out wooden floor
And leave behind you the hurt you’ve had before
There’s a room in my heart for you